Today was such a wierd day.
i didn't know whether to celebrate or sigh in despair.
i didn't know if things were ending here or i had to start my 2nd year all over again.
Its a different feeling from the PSLE and O levels. i felt i gained freedom then. now, my baggage seems to have gotten heavier.
I was at the bbq. amy was describing the 'Paul Frank Band'. Maybe this will be one of the last times i will sit around with them, laughing with my pals shu and chris. Maybe this will be the last in my life i'll see indran. 2 years of junior college was too fast. way too fast.
i've never treasured my friends. i've always made fun at them. Always thinking of what to make fun of them tomorrow.
today, i couldn't think of any tomorrow.
as i took out my collar pin from my school uniform and my belt, there was this sadness in me. that was the last time i'm wearing that uniform, and that is the last time i am tucking my shirt into my belt. No more uniform checks, no more flurry of girls putting on belts, no more nice classmates, no more fabulous odacians, no more teachers i like.
i miss miss g. i love her lit lessons. though sometimes i get a bit bored by her jokes, she says it really funnily. i miss miss thiang. i miss lots of people now.
shu was telling me, when he finished his PSLE, the invigilator said "and now you are free" but he failed to think he had 6 more years to go and 2 more major exams to go. i don't like the idea of being free. studying is better.
i used to hate to study. i still do. but i love the idea of going to school to see my friends, sit in the canteen/study area/go to the loo and splash water on people in the cubicle,/hanging out in the odac room/hanging out in the classroom, everything is nostalgic. (i don't miss the lessons though)
after the road traffic accident, i've learnt to be more paranoid. i really love everyone of you. i try to make your day by making you laugh. and i hope i did brighten up your days. Everyone of us will be leading our own lives now. 5 years down the road, some of us will be famous, some of us will be losers.
"people now do not judge by the essential soundness but by the accidental outcomes." - jude the obscure
posted by gary @ 11:15 PM
<< Home