When there are few tomorrows
And prayers I cannot find,
When failings loom before me
And haunt my lonely mind;
When darkness gathers round me,
Embracing me with fear
And weary sighs and weeping
Are all that I can hear;
And when my heart is slowing
And death I can't resist,
I'll leave with just a whisper;
...your name on my lips.
posted by gary @ 2:17 PM
Last entry of this year.
The appearance of 3 ladies in my life. My numourous nicknames. My evil side. Myself. Through this year, i've tried to find myself. I've learnt valuable lessons about life, love and living. Till now, i am still a mystery to myself. somehow, i hope that an epiphany would appear and help me.
i've never failed to disappoint myself. have i disappointed you?
The most valuable lesson i've learnt this year. Never search for something. It will search for you eventually.
posted by gary @ 2:13 PM
"Epiphany" - STAIND
Your words to me just a whisper
Your faces so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear
'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the thing's I should have said
So I speak to you in riddles because
My words get in my way. I smoke the
whole thing to my head and feel it
wash away 'cause i can't take anymore
of this, I want to come apart.
or dig myself a little hole inside
your precious heart
'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention
yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed
'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
posted by gary @ 2:32 PM
hmmm.. bought FHM.. i tell u.. the girls are hot! VIVIAN LAI IS FLAT TOO! haha... lotsaa HOT girls man. for more details.. please purchase a copy of FHM at your nearest newstands today. Each magazine costs $7.
*my gosh* i can just melt and die by just lookin at their killer bods.
posted by gary @ 10:27 PM
can't wait to go see the indonesian girls again.. heehee... but sadly.. they are leaving on the 2nd jan....
anyway.. i haven't started studying!
posted by gary @ 9:16 PM
hi.. i'm back from my auntie's house. She's indonesian. and this time, her indonesian family came over to singapore for a visit. and along came 3 indonesian girls who are all 16. well, they are not pretty or wat.. just that they have nice bodies... hee... well... they took photos with me and they asked me for my phone number.. asked me out on new year's eve too... how is that for u? hehe.. going out with them on 31 dec... well... hahahaha...
posted by gary @ 12:49 AM
The showdown begun yesterday night. yes. de wei knows abt the internal conflict. therefore, the last of the scenes. Bloodshed.
posted by gary @ 3:20 PM
Scene 4
The last of the actors fall,
winter comes,
the bodies torn apart
where do i stand?
The story ends,
the plot is gone,
bloodshed all over,
the flies hover.
posted by gary @ 3:15 PM
Scene 3
i'm tired of listening,
tired of looking,
tired of suffering.
tired of falling.
When can i stop being tired?
posted by gary @ 8:52 PM
Scene 2
There comes a time when even blooming flowers wither.
There comes a time when even the greatest trip and fall.
When is my time?
posted by gary @ 12:35 PM
Scene 1:
Each Night,
Beer Head Swirls Swiftly.
Each Day,
Rose Petals Fall Abruptly.
Lips and Tongues Clamour,
Limbs and Bodies Collide.
In the Endless, Repeating Search,
Fresher Love, It Seems, Can Be Founf No
More.
Thought of the day: How significant is Love in Marriage?
As significant as the ice sculpture at the wedding dinner?
The ice would have melted by the time the dinner's over.
posted by gary @ 8:44 PM
i'm not very shagged. after 24 hours of competition. SRJC ODAC has a team which came in 3rd place overall in the Adventure Jamboree organised by SMU, NTU and NUS. A total of 13 teams from 10 Junior Colleges took part in this event. 2 teams from SRJC were sent. Beating the likes of VJC team 2, NYJC, TPJC, MJC, NJC and many other established ODAC / OAC, SRJC ODAC has gotten the first ever trophy in a competition this year.
In the competiton event where teams compete with each other against time by running to checkpoints located all over sentosa, the fastest team to complete all objectives and reach the southern most end of continental asia wins. in that event, the winning team came in 4th by default as 4 teams rushed across that bridge.
we had a lot of fun. of cos i felt that the prize i received for this competition was priceless.
it was the fun and experience we had. priceless.
event: Adventure Jamboree jointly organised by SMU, NTU, NUS
date: 22-23 Dec 2003
Journey:
1200: trek frm SMU to bukit timah hill summit
1900: cycle from bukit timah to west coast park (obstable course)
2400: cycle from west coast park to labrador park (candle game)
0100: cycle frm labrador park to sentosa
0200: a 6-station competition, race against time, stretching our physical n mental limits
0500: watch the stars
0600: cooking competition
0700: tasting of fd, announcement of all prize winners
0800: home sweet home
posted by gary @ 4:34 PM
won't be blogging tomorrow. will update thru the phlog instead. miss ya guys~
posted by gary @ 12:12 PM
went for another trip to ubin. we took measurements. at least we done smth le.. haiz... dun tink can finish cip.
The first orientation comittee is spilt up le. 3 AOs.. only me left as OIC.. sianz...
me and zheng yang walked the whole of changi beach. made alot of explorations. hmm... time well spent. we walked in the rain.. yup!
can't wait for monday to come~
posted by gary @ 10:47 PM
i'm going for the competition soon! hope srjc odac wins smth..
a quote: Somehow I always think I have finally lost my innocence. I always think, God, I've seen the worst, the next time it isn't going to hurt me as bad. And I always find it does.
posted by gary @ 4:45 PM
Seeing the ashes in my heart
The smile the widest
When I cry inside and my insides blow apart
I tried to wear another face
Just to make you proud
Cities grow
Rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here
The lights go out, the bridges burn
Once you're gone, you can't return
I'm still here
Remember how you use to say I'd be the one to runaway
But I'm still here
posted by gary @ 9:16 PM
the first aid course is really something odacians enjoy. so many jokes. and i'm always the one kena made fun of. hehe... i dun mind...
remember today when we were doing CPR.. then i was the last.. and i do the rescue breathing... then i counted like an indian.. haha.. muz be the kiss i give lar.. made me curl up my tongue.. hehe...
so many funny jokes. oh yes. it was so fun. we really bonded.
and everyone saw my boxers and navel hair.. mwahahaha.. stupid instructor.. keep exposing me.
and yes. the competition is coming. i'm so afraid.
posted by gary @ 8:22 PM
my god. bernard koh of st john ambulance is really lame. my gosh.
he talks a lot of crap. but he showed us alot of nice pics of injuries and stuff like that. though they were a little upseting to the stomach... but i din care.
he says i look like an ah beng and by looking at my face, he can't teach the class.. wat crap. do i really look like an ah beng? hmm... lol
posted by gary @ 6:34 PM
went to fish and co. at PS to eat with my family. haha. one of their waitress there was very cute... and we struck a conversation there... hmm... tmr going to st john there for first aid course... hope its fun.. see ya~
posted by gary @ 9:59 PM
A Lifetime Ago, Yesterday
A lifetime ago
Seems like yesterday
My heart was well hidden
My emotions at stay
You entered my life
In a curious way
A lifetime ago, yesterday
A lifetime ago
Seems like yesterday
There were faces a glow
There were lovers at play
Time stood still
In a curious way
A lifetime ago, yesterday
Joys of the heart
Emotions so new
We spoke of forever
time shared with you
The touch of your hand
The holding of two
Sent me high in a dream
As I thought it did you
A lifetime ago, yesterday
A lifetime ago
Seems like yesterday
It came to my heart
On a Monday in May
You were leaving
You were going
You were walking away
A lifetime ago, Yesterday
posted by gary @ 10:17 PM
Went to town. spent 70+ on a shirt. its green! i nvr had a green shirt b4? so cool! hehe... its mambo somemore... woo~~ going shopping with mum is so cool...
posted by gary @ 8:31 PM
A commentary on life.
This is a sad, gloomy place,
where love and dreams die,
A place where everything,
turns into a well-known lie.
Broken hearts and shattered dreams,
are controlling my life,
Everywhere I turn,
I see small visions of blood and a knife.
As I sit here and lay on my bed,
I wonder what just happened,
'Cause this lonely place,
is now inside my head.
posted by gary @ 10:09 PM
shit. can't go my first 3 months class's gathering.. my eyes got inflammed. think i may go blind.
What is the world in darkness?
maybe its fate.
posted by gary @ 4:56 PM
Sometimes
Sometimes we laugh,
Sometimes we cry,
Days go by
And we ask ourselves why.
Sometimes there's pleasure,
sometimes there's pain,
Days go by
And knowledge we gain.
Sometimes we win,
Sometimes we lose,
Days go by
And forward we move.
Sometimes there's happiness,
Sometimes there's sorrow,
Days go by
And there is always tomorrow.
Till there is no tomorrow,
till there is no today,
Time passes by
And, I Love you All.
posted by gary @ 6:24 PM
i swear. i need anger management class. is it my fault or is it his? 4 yrs of frenship. all put to the test. now.
We were deciding to be who is going to be the committee IC.. so it was already agreed on that the 3 AOs will be the IC/s... HE din like it. sio he tried to change things by suggesting some other ass shit. so... alright... i heard him say and we said we wud consider abt it.. ANd know wat? he kept insisting we wud stick to his suggestion. oh yeah. fuck u.
that's not all... so i shot him back with a phrase he said just now to someone in odac... he said " the minority should go with the majority."
oh well.. so i asked for a voting process... we are democrats. no one voted against us except him. so i told him that he is the minority. so jus let this matter go our way. and know wat? he said " Oh yeah. i'm the majority here. I'm the President. So You All have to follow me."
wow. that got me off man. i just kept quiet and afraid the outburst wud be uncontrollable, i jus stared at him with anger.
Tell me. would u feel fucked up too.
posted by gary @ 9:30 PM
i swear. it isn't me who is a flirt. well.. here's the story.
i went to the chalet and i din slp cos i was waitin for a soccer match to start at 430. so i was gambling with my cousins. then came a grp of girls who were ard my age knocking at the chalet door at ard 3am. saying they are gonna sing us christmas songs. they were chio. i swear they are. so i opened the door and they sang. the chalet is bungalow type lar... so there was a porch and all...
after that... they invited me to THEIR chalet and play. 7 gals and 1 guy. wat can happen? haha.. nth happen... we just played... for 1 hr plus b4 iwent back to watch soccer... but the whole chalet was in a mess... i swear. i used the toilets... both upstairs and downstairs... bras and panties hanging all over the place.. clothes lying all over the floor... my god. my face was sure red. and they din mind one bit. some of them were a little horny though.. wanted to play strip poker.. din wan to.. cos their clothes were kinda thin material.. so nth much was covered. oops.
anyway.. see... i'm not a flirt. girls are worse. but they are funny and boisterous lar... haha...
posted by gary @ 9:12 PM
spent half of my afternoon shopping last minute for chris and ena's bday prezzie. Ena got a handbag and chris got a pair of havainas slippers from the new urban male shop in Annex.
A saga ensued while shuming approached the shop owner. He's so gay! he wears a shorts that is real short. REALLY short. and he's kinda touchy. poor shuming a.k.a chinaman a.k.a gay was caressed on the back by him for a few times. All in the name of buying a present for chris.
Your sacrifice was certainly appreciated.
My cousin's going to the army soon. well. all the best for your PTP. Then can go to BMT.
try to figure this seemingly funny statement i've thought of
The good news is I'm me, the bad news is you're you
posted by gary @ 12:20 PM
Going to Marina later to celebrate chris's and ena's bday. aren't they excited. joanna, happy bday too! hmm...
thought of smth of the bus. How positive am i? Can i see the minus (-) sign in the (+)plus sign? yes i can. its easy to spot the negative stuff. everyone else can. BUt can i see the plus sign in the minus? i can't.
that's the difficult part.
posted by gary @ 2:47 PM
alright. nth much to blog abt actually. just that i'm tired and shagged. keep going back to sch. and de wei is joining the jamboree too. looks like its gonna be strong competition between the 2 teams odac is sending.
In a competition, there are no friends or allies, there are only enemies.
posted by gary @ 12:36 PM
so boring. tmr got econs lect and tmr got another wedding dinner to go to. and i haven finished my gp hw. sux. hope the wedding dinner got pretty girls. then can go widen my contacts haha.. jokin..
posted by gary @ 4:22 PM
my life is mundane. so boring. i've become stoic.
3 Dec. Orienteering is cancelled.
as u may have read from my phlog, i was staring at a gal opposite my table yesterday nite at a wedding dinner. she's young. sec 2 or 3. she's not pretty. but i dunno y i just kept looking. she smiled at me, so i smiled back. and i offered her a toast of drink as manners. well. i'm not interested in her.
i'm bored. i wanna play soccer.
and yes. i still can't open a can of coke.
posted by gary @ 4:35 PM
