another day. PE was fun today! played tennis.. had some fun with chris. Think we gonna play tennis in sch on mon... if possible... hmm... anyway... i have 10 new mosquito bites on my hand.. shucks... but never mind.. i muz live up to my gungho-samseng kia-manly-hoohoo-beary man image.
ODAC is really fun? its the right cca to join. THink this year would be quite different. ROCMOC and ODAC are on good terms this time.. maybe can have combined PT and stuff? depends ya....
Farewell party for ODAC. QUoted source say that it may be at sentosa! yeah! haha... cool.
i am very unsure of myself? dunno if i'm falling in love? i hope i'm not? haix... y always like that one... i really dun wan to screw up again. shud i tell her? or shud i wait? hmm....
firstly, i want to thank gwen for making me and yan sze so pai seh. i was at the concourse having an ODAC meeting when gwen comes along saying "yan sze is here. GARY! she's here!" omg. thanks lor gwen.
Secondly, i want to thank my classmates for bearing with me during my presentation of the econs essay. i tried my bestest. If i didn;t manage to knock some econs sense into you.. that because i have none myself!?
Thirdly, I want to thank ODAC for letting me hav the chance to feed the mosquitoes once again. I really appreciated donating blood to blood suckers.
Lastly, i want to thank the school for scheduling PE on tues and thurs. doesn;t tired me out lor.. no lor.. tues pe, wed odac, thurs pe. won't die lar.
enuf of ranting. anyway.. wanna go support edward? make it like a class thingy? muz see edward... when he's down for duty... then we go support him... hows that? hmm.. let me know how u ppl think...
think my shoulders muz be very enticing... so ppl like to lie on it... haiz... wat to do.. fleshy shoulders...
gtg! dun worry. i dun miss yan sze. i miss lisany.(this is not true.)
slack-ed. Had a talk with Mr tay just now. we talk alot as frens... i mean... u noe.. as in he's my pal... all kinds of topics can be explored. vulgarities are optional. We go bitching ard abt other teachers or students. that's fun. He's really a nice guy outside class. I totally respect him. *salutes* He tells me stuff that i dun noe and advises me. That's nice.
Lisany. Sorry that i din mention abt u in my blog. Now you are mentioned.. happy? Wat to say? erm... you have been a great fren and will always be... i hope... wat u wan me to say? miss u? ok lar.. a lil bit la...lol..
Yan sze's coming back tomorrow. oh yes. you all can continue with your scandals. can't be bothered lar...
tIreD! very! gtg to do JTO! sianz... ezboard huh... shucks....
should the curtains of my life let down earlier than any of yours. Please know, that i love you in every way you are, in every thing you do.
life. 16 years and counting. wat is it? is it about learning to go through pain and learning to stop the pain? or is it about learning to love someone without being loved in return? no one knows. for everyone's life is different. no two people goes thru the same life as another.
Love. what is love? pain? sweetness or emptyness? If someone could put a definite meaning to love, and show me the difference to like and love, i would feel much better. I've come up with one.. but its in chi. " xi huan shi qian qian de ai, ai shi sheng sheng de xi huan." Love is like a pandora's box. Open it and limitless options may open up. Love can make you or break u.
I know i seem happy these days, not minding the scandal, jokin around, playing the clown. I've never stopped and feel sorry or sad for myself. The brakes screeches and i ask myself, "have i been happy all these while?" the ans was.... yes. for i had frens like dorry, chris, shu, rach,amy,angeline, angela, odacians, yan sze and others. Without you people, life wouldn't be what it is today. You people put colours into my black-and-white life. for that. i've written poems for you people.
TO: MY BROTHERS and amanda mum
Friends are who you need the most,
When times are not so right.
They come and go so frequently,
You hope you pick one right.
The right one listens with both ears,
And soothes your aching heart.
The right one never questions you,
When you seem to fall apart.
The friend for you is one who says,
"Be calm and let me help"
For there are some real bad days,
When life hits you below the belt.
All friends are not forever,
They are few and far between,
But the few true friends you do find,
Will never, ever leave.
To gwen:
A true friend never walks away.
A true friend looks out for you.
A true friend will always stay.
A true friend will guard your secrets
like a precious gift.
A true friend is there for you,
to give you a helpful lift.
A true friend tries to make you smile,
tries to replace that frown.
They may not always succeed,
but they rarely let you down.
These arms for you are open,
this heart of mine does care
and when I think you need me...
I'll try to always be there.
I'll listen to your fears,
I promise not to laugh,
comfort your falling tears,
I'll make this friendship last.
I'll keep you close to my heart,
I'll always hold you dear,
even when we're miles apart,
even when you're here.
I hope I am to you
everything you are to me.
For the friendship we have
is a special one indeed.
To Yan szE:
Just thought I'd let you know,
even though we're apart,
wherever I go, whatever I do,
you're always in my heart.
There's not a day that passes by
when I don't stop and wonder why-
why was I blessed with a friend like you,
Even after what I've put you through?
Through all the pain and all the tears,
you're always there to calm my fears.
Thanks for always being around,
to help me up when I am down.
So, I want you to know:
no matter what happens,
or what time may do,
I am always here for you.
A friend of mine
you will always be.
To you, with love,
...From me.
To: Amy
How are friendships created;
What bonds their souls to each?
Is it sharing their deepest secrets
Or the love spoken in their speech?
How are friendships kept
Through the strain that they may face?
Is it saying, ”I love you”... sometimes,
Or occasionally touching base?
How are friendships lost
When there seemed no end in sight?
By ignoring their pain and anguish,
And not sharing in their delight.
So, I pledge to you, my friend,
I’ll never walk away;
I’ll share the good and bad,
And beside you... I’ll always stay.
And when life isn’t worth it,
When the tears roll down your cheek
Just close your eyes and listen
And from a distance... you’ll hear me speak.
Though my words at times seem pointless,
When no answers I seem to impart
Don’t listen the way you have in the past
But listen with your heart.
For the important things in life
Are invisible to your eyes;
You’ll hear them in your heart
For your heart will tell no lies.
So, though I may be far away,
Too far for you to reach,
Remember I’m there forever
For I’ve told you in my speech.
Yet, distance never mattered
For distance will only depend
On the depth of the love I have...
And I love you dearly, my friend.
So when clouds are at their darkest
And no lining do you see
You have a friend, so close,
And that friend - my friend - is me
WELL NOW YOU BELONG IN FINAL FANTASY 6. Gamer wise
my dear you are probably old- school and I give
a hearty hell yes to that. You probably like
magic and puzzles and also might possibly be a
Pagan. Relationsip wise you probably become
very attached quickly and become extremely
depressed when you significant other doesn't
feel the same...Don't worry you'll find that
special one!!!! HAPPY GAMING MY OLD SCHOOL
BUDDY!
What Final Fantasy do you belong in?
brought to you by Quizilla
I don't know how to say this,
but I know I need to.
It took me a while to realize it,
but I think I'm falling for you.
I wouldn't say I'm falling in love,
it's more like a big crush.
Like every time I see you,
I get sort of a rush.
When I see you at school,
it's enough to make my day,
or whenever we get to talk--
even when we don't have much to say.
I'm telling you all this,
but I don't know how you feel.
What I'd really like to know is,
am I wasting my time?
Or is this for real?
And if you give me that over-used line--
"I just want to be your friend,"
I want you to know I'll be here for you,
until the very end.
drunk. depressed for no reason. toking rubbish. i'm glad i have my brothers.
TO: yan sze
as i said i wud write a poem for u... i did!
When troubles, dangers, and sorrows befall you,
And you're looking all around for someone to turn to,
I'll be there.
When your spirit sinks into the depths of despair,
And just wish for a moment the world was fair,
I'll be there.
When one you have loved has passed away,
And, although I know there's nothing I can say,
I'll be there.
So, when the world has turned its back to you,
And you're looking for a light to help you through,
I'll be there.
Because that's what friends are for, day after day,
No matter how many times... to be able to say,
I'll be there.
The feelings are all back again. For the 4th time. I know that i can't make it work out. But every now and then, i wish for someone to care for me. Someone to ask me whether i am tired, hungry or what i did for the day. I wish that someone can tell me about her day w/o me asking as i will always be listening. i wish that the person will listen to my rantings. I wish to have the person beside me when i'm happy cos i wan her to share my happiness. I wish i cud be by that person's side if she needs me. I wish that someone would love me as much i love her. I wish, that i cud enjoy myself in the company of her. i wish that i can find that girl.
To angela:
i don't know if you have been reading my blog as you used to. But i just wanna say thank you to you for being in my life before, letting me know that you loved me. Thanks for that. Though the time was short, i know that we had worked out in the least. Perhaps it was me caring too much for you as i knew you were paranoid about being in a relationship. Perhaps it was me who sacrificed too much that made you overlook that you didn;t contribute to our relationship.
I realised that i have always somewhat hated your decision of having a breakup. But i think i got over you. I know something's holding me back. And this is it. In the past 2 relationship before ours, i realised i never loved the girl enough. but for you, i did. And i 'm happy that you gave me a chance for me to understand what it is really like to love a person. You made me understand that even if most of the time when we are together, we are silent, its still called quality time. YOu made me understand that love is not about being on the phone with each other the whole day nor is it smsing each other the whole time nor is it talking online all the time. You allowed me to understand that love is being there for that person when i'm needed. Love is also being able to be there even though she didn't day it. Love is not telling the other that you miss her but the other telling you she misses you.
I really appreciated your care and concern you have showered me till now. i'm really grateful. I'm happy to see you get into the 16th student's council and i heard that you are in the welfare committee. I'm proud of you in the least. You realised your dreams. but it was not how it was planned with me celebrating with you. Its you and your friends. I still have the lightstick that you gave me during 2nd Orientation. It still lies in the cupboard. silently, weeping. our love can be likened to a lightstick, slowly lighting up when first used then glowing brightly only to fade away in no time. i was really touched when you typed this out in your online journal.
"That's all for the story.. After typing all these sms out, i realised that i hav been really veri veri demanding.. In the past, i dunnoe why i hav nv realised how fortunate i am.. its until now when i hav lost him den i realised that i didnt treasure him.. i think if he cares for me 100 times.. den i have onli cared for him for 1 time.. which is 1 out of 100 compared with him.. WTH am i doin?.. why didnt i found out and come to my senses earlier?.. maybe i hav been too pampered for too long.. so i didnt noe how it feels to lose him.. if i hav another choice, i will choose not to break with him.. sadly, i dun hav.. i can only live with it.. and try to think optimistically that its actually good for my studies.. at least i will hav a bit more time to spend on my work.. haiz.. i think i'm deceiving myself.. wad he said was right.. it's my loss.. i hav nv deny that.. but i didnt noe though the real meaning behind it.. until now.. i think it means i hav lost sth that's really impt to me.. i hav lost a guy who is true to me and i was the one to cause the tragedy to happen.. i think i hav enough of realtionships.. i think i'm jus gonna continued the vow that i made be4 i was attached to Gary.. and that is to be focus on my studies instead of getting involved in any puppy love, etc.. i think the most horrible thing is to get lousy results at the end of this 2 years jc course.. becos at that pt of time, i think i will be stucked!.. i wun noe which route to take if i cant get good results.. i dun wan to go poly.. i wan to make it to uni..
as for Gary.. i think i still love him.. but i dun think he will ever wan me back into his life.. so.. nvm.. i shall jus keep the love in my heart.. and if he ever noes.. it will be up to him to see if he wan a relationship after he get into NS.. or maybe we shld start everything new.. and pretend that we jus know each other like how we were last time.. and start everything again.. i'd like to know more about him as a friend.. and from there maybe if can.. maybe if i feel that i hav known him enough.. den i will wan to be his stead again.. by that's jus a wishful thinking la.. i think he will be scared to get hurt by me.. seriously speaking.. i think he shld be more God encouraging.. i mean the first thing i'd look for in a stead is he has to be god encouraging..that's really impt to me.. becos i trust God.. that's all i wan to say.. "
I know that you still love me. Many people have been telling me that. but i'm sorry angela. You were once my darling, and i've left a part of me in you and it will always be. Fate has brought us together and to separate us in no time. You haven't known me well, no one does. I never show my true feelings cos i will always laugh them off. No one will ever know when i'm sad. only my mum does.
i'm sorry if i've mistreated/neglected you in anyway in the course of our attachment. I hope you will forgive me. And one of my wish is that you can forget me completely. Because i know that you haven;t "ba wa fang xia", that's why i cannot get over you. i wish you can. I look at you and you still look back at me with those eyes that spell love. i know that you keep blaming yourself. But please don't. its part my fault too.
Angela, i still love you. Yes i do. But we cannot be together anymore. my hearts of glass and when mended back again, the cracks will show. "pei xuan, wo yi ba ni wang le, qing ni wang le wo ba. wo hai shi ai ni de."
I've been trying hard to be friendly with you and i noe i'm succeeding. Let go please.
i'm getting more depressed after writing the poems. this poem. is really moving. i think. think this is my best work.
If I closed my eyes
Would you remember the color?
And if I cut my hair
Would you remember the length?
If I changed my voice
Would you remember the first?
And if I disappeared
Would you remember everything?
If I started crying
Would you remember my smile?
And if I stopped loving you
Would you remember my style?
If you closed your eyes
I'd remember they're blue
And if you cut your hair
I'd remember the curls.
And if you changed your voice
I'd remember the sweet sound.
And if you disappeared
I'd remember everything.
If you started crying
I'd remember your smile.
And if you stopped loving me
I'd lose everything.
just finished reading chri's post. suddenly becomes very depressed. chris though writing it in simple english has evoked complicated emotions in me. I don't know. but he talks sense. it sets me into thinking. what exactly is sanity? his analogy of a person turning over even when you are not steve. he talks sense. is he implying something? i know he is. but i can't get it. he talks about love. its true. is it a game? my feelings are all contained in this poem i've written.
Home is where the heart is;
isn't that what people say?
But there are times it's not the truth
and it doesn't work that way
Sometimes there is that someone
who comes into your heart
When you don't even notice
and that is when it starts
That seed is planted deep within
and then it starts to grow
And then before much time has passed
you're aware, and then you know
This love becomes your passion
and fight it as you will
Your dreams, your thoughts, your waking hours
keep trying to fulfill..
The burning love that's deep inside
that wants to scream and shout
For the one who knows you not
with cries, "please let me out"
I cannot say how this will end
I only know for sure
That there is someone in my heart
that forever will endure
So, home's not where my heart is
and, yes, it's sad to say....
I love someone that knows me not
oh, to hope...maybe someday.....
this poem is for who are in love right now. wrote it for u guys.
The wish that won't come true,
the song that won't be sung,
the words that won't be spoken-
over, before we've begun.
The feelings we can't express,
the laughs we can't share,
the facts I can't tell you
of just how much I care.
Your lips, I'll never kiss,
your warmth, I'll never know,
holding you close, holding you tight
and never letting go.
Saying, "good morning," as you wake,
watching you in a peaceful sleep,
the way I feel, the love I have
but it's all just a secret I keep.
Your beautiful eyes, the glances exchanged,
the silence or talking all night;
our shared love of music or an old flick,
how you and me feel so 'right.'
Sitting beside you, longing for your touch,
or missing you more everyday.
Spewing my words like a raging volcano,
till I no longer know what to say.
made 2 new resolutions today. Both are about changing me.
RESOLUTION 1:
thou shalt not curse/swear anymore. Doing so will result in a fine of 10cents.
RESOLUTION 2:
Fall in love again. But not so readily.
i know you people muz be thinking that i like yan sze. but i don't think that so. because we know each other like only for 3 days? so, people, snap back to reality.
alrite. she's injured. she twisted her ankle. poor thing.. she says its swollen and very painful. well. wat can i do but get her the ice pack? dun think wrong ppl. i care for everyone. erm. nth else
Life as an ESTP
(Extravert, Sensor, Thinker, Perceiver)
People of this type tend to be: active, adventurous, and impulsive; talkative and curious; casual, adaptive, and free spirited; logical and calm but capable of great humor, fun, and charm; observant and totally present in the moment, literal and practical.
Here are just a few popular and often satisfying careers for people whose Personality Type is ESTP.
Emergency medical technician
Sports merchandise sales
Stockbroker
Corrections officer
Exercise physiologist
Insurance agent
Civil engineer
Entrepreneur
Marine biologist
Private investigator
Tour agent
Professional athlete / coach
General contractor
Developer of electronic games
Real estate developer
How to Love an ESTP
Appreciate my fun loving and highly social nature.
Encourage me to be spontaneous and to follow my impulses.
Be direct, honest, and unemotional when discussing problems.
Respect my need for freedom.
Try not to pressure me to talk about emotional issues before I'm ready.
Above all - Have fun with me and participate in some of the adventures I suggest
let me tell u ppl wat is so interesting tt i found out.. there is a gal who takes e same feeder bus as me to yishun interchange. She's from anderson and she's damn tall? she looks a lil like YAN SZE! haha... i found tt out long ago.. but they really look similar lor... and then... gwen as usual... scandalise me. but both gals look taller than me... so... its not possible lar... unless they are shorter? :P anyway... yan sze looks like a nice gal... wouldn't wan anything bad to happen to her... as u all already know.. all my relationships are like one month long.. except the last one which lasted 1 month 13 days. since she's gwen's gd fren... woudn't wan to hurt my fren's fren. though i told gwen le... but she say i'm a nice guy.. so intro to yan sze. haiz. wat to do. dilemna. but it wud be nice to have her as a fren. she looks really friendly?! haha... yuppp...
anyway.. a clarification on the ODAC thingy.. i love all my odac seniors... except for one or 2 of them who wans ppl to respect them when they dun even respect me. Its like 2 only.. the other seniors... I LOVE U ALL!!
To my brothers
Pondering our destinies,
Out beyond the starry sea,
Where our eyes gradually meet,
Through the ways our paths entwine,
My emotions I let you unwind,
Deeper into the sea we dive,
Always swimming by each other's side
To all my frens:
I sing of a friendship, that is timeless,
a song of all songs,
created within me, finished within you.
A song so complete,
but possessing no rhyme or rhythm.
A song so confined,
but boundries to the edge of love and over.
A song caught in one soul,
dwelling in two bodies
A song connected between my smile and your laugh
It is a song that will forever be heard,
A song of friendship I share with you.
To Angela:
Friendship blooms from broken hearts,
And lost relationships.
A new time starts and better times,
Are at our fingertips.
Although things may not be the same,
And feelings may not show,
There's comfort knowing we still care,
For each other, so.
When you need someone, I'll be there,
And you'll be there for me.
Friends, forever, 'til the end.
That's the way it should be.
To Lisany:
Little One with eyes so blue...
This is what I wish for you...
I wish you rainbows everyday...
No more skies with clouds of gray...
No more tears that fall like rain...
No more hurt, no more pain...
I wish that each of your days begin...
With lots of laughter and big grins...
Reading, drawing and watching TV...
Eating ice cream and playing happily...
Drives to the zoo and fun in the park...
Music to sing to and stars after dark...
Fishing and swimming and boats galore...
I wish you this and so much more...
ALL POEMS ARE BY GARY YEO
over 20 mosquito bites on my hands... poor me. went for a blood donation drive on ubin. haha. its a joke. nvm. anyway. gt to study. the scandal is bothering. maybe i shud go tok to yan sze and tell her abt this lie myself. maybe i will feel better. shud i?
ok.. i'm being scandalised! gwen! copy this onto your blog! That yan sze reads your blog right? u shitty head... mayb she will understand...
yes. although i always scandalise people.. but its between people the two party knows?! I know the awkardness of having to face the person if you dun noe that person and yet you are being scandalised with her. Its SO DAMN Awkward! thanks gwen.
let me explain the whole story. Geography lesson. Gwen vandalises her table by writing YAN SZE'S name on her table. ok. nth wrong. THen she gives me a sly look. She writes my name below yan sze's name. then she adds on to the picture of a HEART between my name and hers. OMG lorx... now. it starts. She starts asking me whether yan sze is chio. Yup she is. I can't deny that right? yes. i agree she is pretty. but that doesn't mean i have to like her. ANd guess what gwen says? I LIKE YAN SZE! ok.. i know how she looks like because gwen always calls out her name so loudly ya? so. knowing her name is nothing. She knowing me is something. Gwen claims she knows me. i mean. so what? but i dunno her.. she doesn't noe me. how the hell she knows my name? that's really funny. hmm. anyway... back to e story. Gwen writes a list of her wives's name. I commented on that by writing who is chio and who is not. ok. enuf of that.
Spreading of the lie. SHe tells yuan xing abt this scandal. omg! yuan xing noes its me who is part of the scandal. anyway. yan sze now knows that there is a guy in 1a01 who likes her. ok. tt's not true by the way. anyhow, she now knows and a lot of ppl now know abt it.
i dun really mind being scandalised. but with someone i dunno... erm..its not my preference. if its someone i know. i dun mind. but i dunno her.
yan sze. if u are reading this now. pls understand. gwen's toking nonsense. and u are very very tall. think u are taller than me. hmm...
jus came back from ODAC camp... the camp was ok... but basically.. the j2s wanted things planned according to their own ways.. can't blame them anyway... when they are participants in this camp... they were so fake "enthusiastic' and they wanted programs tailored to their own needs... on the other hand.. when they were organisers.. they wanted us to follow their orders and do what they want us to do. ridiculous.. is n't it?
anyway.. goin to slp now.. may not be goin to school tomorrow... see how...
did e beep test today.. only had 7.5... shucks.. need to go and train harder.. hmm... tomorow going tampiness home... makes me excited! i really despise those ppl who look down on the mildly retarded people. hmm.. exciting day!
haiz. walked a whole day @ Pulau Ubin. A beautiful place. ANyway. for the listening comprehension, i was entertaining candy and diana for the time we were waiting for... hor diana and miss chio? haha. muz say thank u. suddenly, i feel very fortunate to have the club of 4 brothers and a gay. haha. thanks guys.
You're not animation at all! One-hundred-percent
real-world, baby. So why the Sam Hill did you
take this quiz?
What Style of Animation Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're the torn between two lovers plot. Two
classic examples is Romeo and Juliet and
Phantom of the Opera. One character
(Juliet/Christine) must choose between two
things they love. One is usually the excepted
by society (Paris/Raoul), and the other is the
forbidden love (Romeo/Erik). Its usually very
romantic and often tragic, ending in death and
broken hearts.
Which plotline are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I am, of course, none other than blank verse.
I don't know where I'm going, yes, quite right;
And when I get there (if I ever do)
I might not recognise it. So? Your point?
Why should I have a destination set?
I'm relatively happy as I am,
And wouldn't want to be forever aimed
Towards some future path or special goal.
It's not to do with laziness, as such.
It's just that one the whole I'd rather not
Be bothered - so I drift contentedly;
An underrated way of life, I find. |
What Poetry Form Are You?
|
hmm. long time since i blogged. busy with odac. sleepy now. going to slp soon. i'm really tired. of eveything. nth is wat it really seems
if you were wondering why i haven't blogged for yesterday. well. ITS BECAUSE I WENT TO SENTOSA WITH 1a1!! yeaH! haha. well, they are a bunch of people who needs people like ME and Shuming and Cheryl to fire them up. Why? because cheryl has the knowledge of many places and cash speaks. Shuming? to be the co-ordinator and plan everything nicely and then inform people of the outing by his various means and methods and which i shall give you a few examples. He could use the only acclaimed interactive 1a1 class website of srjc. Using his superior knowlege and his undeniable intelligence with words, he can make you change your mind and best of all, give you the details of what you need. Of course a point to note is that his claims are always hyper-inflated. so. don't expect to experience what you see on screen to reality. Exaggeration. Hyperbole. Literature. 4 brothers and a gay. erm.. sorry.. irrrelevant.
anyway.. what about me? why am i important? well, because, you always need someone to don a colourful beach shirt and hold a flag in his outstretched hand and introduce the different tourist attractions or scenery that you see when you place your tender ass onto a comfy bus seat with cool air-conditioning. When you are out of the bus, you would keep a lookout for that flag and listen to his supposedly true crap/ rants/ nonsense. I fill up that shoe. I clown around, crack jokes when tense situations arises or when an awkward silence rules. I talk. that's what i do. In other words, if i paraphrase, i am the entertainer cum tour guide cum "bao- ga- liao".
my whole bods aching now, not muscle ache but aching because i cannot move. any minute move ment would spark off a chain of undesired reactions. move-> over stretched skin moves/crumples-> pain-> pain-> pain.
so now.. you understand why i don't wanna move? its only pain.
my skin's really red and i'm burnt. seriously burnt. my pri sch friend who saw me just now asked me what happened to me. Did i go roast myself? haha. i think i did. oops.
The sentosa thingy was really memorable. took quite a number of pictures at the beach and a few more at cheryl's unused apartment/condo. SOmething for all to note. She used to stay at the block beside mine. We studied at the same kindergarten. though she's one yr older. or else... its really coincidental. But she's moved to some big apartment and yet i'm stuck in this small 5 room flat but i love it still because it has really a lot of memories. I grew up in that home.
anyway.. back to the sentosa thingy, shuming got buried in the sand. thanks to himself. actually it was chris who was supposed to be buried. But in the course of burying, shuming apparently threw sand into chris's mouth and cause several large convulsions from chris and this caused chris to come out of the sand and this rendered the "burial workers" work useless. For punishment, he had to be buried. At the end, he had 2 uneven tits and a small "ding-dong". Tits thanks to karsten and karsten. "ding-dong" thanks to gary. haha. oops. thats me. i did myself in.
the guys played monkey in the water with "da sao" a.k.a karsten's gf. Karsten also made a starkling revelation. THe last outing we had, shu had his gf, i had angela and karsten had his.now, the 2nd outing, shu lost his, mine gave up on me/ abandoned me/ ditched me and only karsten survives. In the course of 1 month or so, so many things can happen. Do what your heart tells you to, if you like someone, tell them, let them know,because, you might never know whether you gonna have anymore chances. Live life to the fullest or live it fast and furious. don't live your life and think about what happened in the past. plan for the near future. enough about that revelation.
We went for dinner at marina south. I spent most of my time cookin/opening "si ham" for my two lovely brothers, namely, doranne and rachael. i opened the piping hot "si hams" with my bare fingers for them so they don't have to. Freshly barbequed "si hams" and opened. all you have to do is to put them in your mouths and suck on it. Ain't that easy? well, edward took over the cooking and i just concentrated on opening them cos i was very fast though my fingers were really hurting, but i didn't say anything but continued because... they are my brothers and i have to do my part to take care of them. I don't expect them to do anything for me but just i want them to enjoy themselves in whatever we do together. the 4 brothers and a gay are always there for each other. Shuming cooked pigs liver for me and karsten and his gf and gwen cooked meat for me and edward and shuming both made trips to buy drinks for me. WE all do things without expecting people to return us a favour. One should never do something because he want's a favour in return. i treated doranne and rach to a can drink each too. edward and i walked gwen to the bus stop when she needed to go. we really care for each other.
after that, we took an mrt for marina bay to orchard. we alighted at city hall. imagine this. 4 cocks alighting from a train to orchard when they are on it. haiz. stupid doofuses. haha... we went to cheryl's apartment and we were all amazed by the languished beauty of th lift beauty and the exquisite quietness that you cannot experience if you live at a flat. Her house was really big and huge but not well furnished. we whiled the nite away by playing card games and PS2. slept at 3. i couldn't really sleep because of the sunburns. anyway.. i woke up at 830 because i thot i had odac but i din. but never mind. i was waiting for that call. in the mean time, i was looking for means and ways to cook the instant noodles. "TING" a bell sounded. I could cook water with a microwave. so i boiled water with the microwave and poured into the instant noodles and let it turned a little soft before putting it in the microwave again to cook. the gals had a good lunch because when they woke up, the lunch was up and they had crockery nicely placed infront of them and a glass of warm water all ready for the them. after that, we all went home.
i enjoyed myself. i really did.
angela,its too late for regrets. I don't think its possible for us to start over afresh again. though it can remain as an option. but, don't think its feasible lar... but we can remain as friends.
To komui, eugenia, felicia, amy, candy,chris, edward,luke, komui, shuming , doranne, rach and my mummy amanda, thanks for being there for me. i really appreciated those acts of kindness. love ya peepz!
well..in school now..blogging and here come chris and diana and luke! haha.. luke is intently studying on his chinese oral.. hoping he gets a pass... oh.. he says not a pass.. a distinction! haha... he's hanging his head low in misery... haha... luke is a fantastic friend who introduces to free porn sites and whtaever there is.. haha.. not porn sites lar.. just cool sites... just visit his webby that is linked on my blog. haha.. u will understand.. haha
amyway..gtg for chi orals soo.. wish me luck!
i broke up with angela already. the reasons? well... they are absurd. ALL! none makes sense. she asked for a breakup.
REASON 1: firstly, u are not God encouraging..
My response: wat the damn bloody relevance is this to our relationship? me not going to church and our love. i dun see the relevance. Using god as an excuse? fuck shit man.
REASON 2: secondly, i'm not prepared for relationships,
i'm too immature to noe wad i really wan..
My response: you got into a relationship and then found out that you weren't prepared. JUS WAT REASON IS TT?! you used me to let you know whether u are prepared for a relationship or nt. u din even have a clear sense of mind. i thot u were a gal hu knew exactly what you wanted. but u didn't.
REASON 3: thirdly, i feel that we are better as friends..
My response: well.. so wat? feel better off as friends? so?
REASON 4: fourthly, u are too nice to me... yet i'm too packed with my schedule.. i feel that i'm not contributing to our relationship..
My response: well.. so are u punishing me by doing this? u said u feel guilty. Have to tried to make some time for me? Couldn't u jus push some of ur leisure time aside for ur studies? u watch so much tv. yet say u are intent on studying. u rather make time for the tv than for me. this is not the first time i'm toking abt how u prioritise stuff. u think too much for ur own leisure enjoyment. i make time for u. u say no time cos u wanna study. after exams.. ask u out.. u say u will feel out of place. whatever. u noe that u r not contributing too huh? wah.. u finally found out that ah.. so fast ah.. u noe wat? i hate u! not bcos we broke up. but bcos u wasted my time. u wasted my fucking time lady. lucky u din tell me face to face. or else. i wud have told u off like u r no one.
REASON 5: fifthly, we have different topics to tok about..
My response: so.. no common topics to tok abt then cannot get together ah.. if its this case.. then why are ppl with diff personality together? wat common topic u wanna tok abt? dance? council? physics? chemistry? gp? f maths? c maths? orh... like that is it? then go get attached to ur classmates lar..
that was her reasons for breakup.
now.. here's my reasons.
REASON 1: I'm tired
wat am i tired of? of u! yes. Y-O-U! i do everything for you. yet u do nOTHING! NOTHING! i put in so much effort. u put in nothing. and yet never attempt to make any changes.
REASON 2: Infidelity
i feel that u still like andrew after so long. u still cannot forget him. all the best with u and him. Sharman. I think he's suitable for u too. u all can tok abt studies.. alot of common topics to tok abt...
SOMETHING I'm SURE ABOUT: I will never want you back in my life again. THere is absolutely no hope in patching up again. I'm far too disappointed in you already. I've wasted my time. I'm not sad. jUST FUCKING PISSED! I won;t lose anything from breaking up. After all, u are just another number in my life now. numBER 3. are u pissed from reading this? ARE U? u shud! that's my motive. i bet that u r not even sad at all. ha. now i'm single again. i can revert to my old life again.
If I have to say it everyday, I will!
To convince myself I no longer love you.
Still, I cannot forget...
The evil of your spoken words.
I hate you for all you are!
I hate you for ripping my heart apart!
I hate you for all your spoken lies!
I hate you for not wanting 'us' to be!
The pains of the past are where you shall stay.
A blocked memory, you'll be.
I convince myself, no longer that I love you still.
It brings to much misery.
I hate you for not caring,
I hate you for pushing me away,
I hate you for wasting a monthof my life,
I hate you!
I let you into my life.
I told you things I'd tell no one else.
I trusted you,
I believed you,
Worst of all... I loved you!
NO longer shall you have my heart,
I don't cry out for you at night anymore.
You deceived me,
You betrayed me...
And everything I stand for.
All I can do is hate you now.
That's the only way I won't love you.
If I have to say it everyday I will!
but so far
...it's not working.
Don't look behind...
there are memories of lost love,
there are hearts that lie broken,
things left undone,
words left unspoken.
Don't look behind...
there are tears waiting to fall,
there`s pain nobody can take,
there are memories waiting to hurt you-
your heart`s gonna break.
Don't look behind...
you`re never going to return,
whatever you`re looking for... is gone,
you`re gonna feel so torn and sad,
you`re going to feel alone.
Don't look behind...
there are friends going away,
innocent eyes filled with tears,
because of memories you`ll never forget,
built up inside through the years.
Don't look behind...
the hand you want to hold is slipping away,
your feet are too weak to hold you,
you`re gonna try to be on your own,
there`s nothing much you can do.
Don't look behind...
I hope you understand,
understand I don´t wanna see you anymore.
I don´t wanna see your face anymore.
It brings back memories,
I don´t wanna save.
I don´t wanna talk with you.
I´m never trying to hear what you say.
I don´t wanna speak your name no more.
neither do I wanna hear you speak my name.
´Cause girl...
I´m just through with you.
I hope, one day, you will think back
to these moments....
when we held each other
and laughed till we ached with joy
and tears tickled our cheeks.
You won't remember.. why,
but you will remember.. how
we were so happy.
I want you to remember
the way I smile at you,
like it's the first time,
every chance I get.
And the way I kiss you,
like it's the last time,
every chance you give.
I want you to remember
all the sweet words I say to you
but even more...
the way I say them.
I hope, one day, you will think back
to these moments....
as we sit together in silent comfort
watching each others lips wrap around..
our addiction.
admiring one another as we inhale...
our bad habit.
You won't remember how terrible it is,
but you will remember how good it feels.....
because it is time spent together.
I want you to remember
the way I touch your face
and the way you hold mine....
when we make love.
I want you to remember
how I whisper softly in your ear,
just to say, "hi".....
and the way it makes you smile.
I want you to remember the way I look at you,
with big eyes and a bottomless heart.....
always wondering if you know
how wonderful I think you are.
And though you don't love me back,
I want you to remember... how I love you,
and u didn't
like it's never going to hurt.
angela. its over. i LOVED u. its all over. lets jus remain as frens. acquaintences. not as close as we were b4 we got attached. jus remember that ya.. i love u.
well.. todaaay... i went shopping wif chris and amy and guess who? EDWARD!! and of cos.. shuming! shuming and edward both bought a t-shirt at beach road.. chris and i din buy anything.. so.. after shopping.. shuming went off home to do his ART?! haha.. poor thing... :P
anyway.. we walked to bugis from beach road and on the way.. we talked abt alot of stuff.. lemme see wat can i remember.. hmm... erm... i cannot remember?! shit! i think i hav amnesia... din remember anything.. oh gosh!? nvm.. anyway.. we walked past a very gothic hotel and amy kept saying its very scary and watever crap.. but... it was indeed scary.. and so... we reached bugis... yupp.. we reached.. so.. we went to the market area to look for clothes.. but there were none... so we went to seiyu.. and in the course of walking there.. there was an outdoor sales area selling lingerie.. a lot of women were like fiddling with it. its such a spectacle u noe, women putting on their intimate clothing on in public and commenting on the comfortability of it.. i mean.. u dun need to let the whole world noe wat cup size u are lor.. kip tt to urself ya...
anyhow.. we went to dcp and saw a t shirt there.. we are going there to buy the t-shirt.. i'm getting the front and chris is getting the back.. both are of different colours... haha..we're going shopping tomorrow...!! yeah!
oh yes.. gwen.. can dun watch movie tomorrow? cos i'm not in a mood to do so...
sorry.
haiz.. today.. geog was a killer... *sounds familiar?* yes.. geog is a killer... there's nth wrong with ur ears.. or shud i say.. eyes... anyway... tomolo after econs.. chris and i are going out! who wans to tag along? tag me on my tag board! and our chi a level oral is on FRI!
VENUE: B1-3
Reporting VENUE: B1-4
Team no: F048
Bring IC, temperature log and thermometer!
You're of the "I hate school"
breed!
You just hate going to school
and can't stand waking up every day just for
school. But no choice, you just force your way
through school and when the time comes, you
leave the country for other, better education
systems. Bah, at least you have the resources
to do so, you rich/smart bugger!!
Which Stereotypical Singaporean Student Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
i dun like my new template... too bright for my liking... hmm.. but nvm... shu will help me with this.. he is indeed efficient.. THANKS!
today's lit is another die or die.. haiz.. i am not very confident in all e papers i have done... tomorrow's papers will be WORSE! can't hear that? it spells "W-O-R-S-E"!! Geog is a goner... i haven been paying attention in class.. and i haven been reading up on my own.. but i hae 4 hrs tomolo.. so its a self consolation for me.. okie.. wat abt chi.. u ask.. chi? omg.. i din bring back that pink book... we're sppsed to study from tt book! i BET a lot of ppl dunno that... y? bcos just how many of u pay attention in chi class? the numbers are less than the number of fingers on my hand... haha...
anyway..
