jus finished econs paper... i dunno how i will do this time.. either i do well of i really flop.. cos its really either my ans is relevant or irrelevant.. hmm.. have to go study lit le.. buaiz..
hope i do well for lit...hmm

posted by gary @ 6:03 PM

Which [Rainbow Colours] are you?

posted by gary @ 7:45 PM

mugging @ e last min.. efficiency @ its highest... oh.. wat efficiency am i talking abt? think i've gone crazy.. hmm.. not to worry too much abt econs.. onli memorised elasticites and economic systems.. so ppl... pls.. dun worry.. anyway.. got to go mug le... come online again later... see ya..

posted by gary @ 5:13 PM

questions.. questions.. questions... not the ones like " why does the sun shine?" or " why does the sea come to shore.." but its qns like.. " why are things turning out like that?".. those type of qns.. i feel insecure abt me and her.. haiz..

i feel unappreciated. Today i attended vs ceremonial move and i woke up at 0730 and have been moving ard till 1845 like that... i'm dead tired.. yet i still find her after my ceremony.. i go down to serangoon fro marine parade dead tired and sleepy... all for what? to see her and spend an hour or 2 with her.. yet when i see her... she says she's watching tv.. and its nice and its my fault that she cannot watch... and i just told her that i came all e way down from marine parade to see her lor.. and i'm tired too. guess wat she says? she says.." u cud have not come down wat.." i mean.. bah... tt's all u can say? i put in effort to see u.. but u... i feel so unappreciated and unwanted.

i still feel unappreciated. as u noe.. her temper is bad.. so i have to kip "honging" her.. i told her tt i might jus get too tired one day to "hong" her anymore.. guess wat she says? "well.. u can dun "hong" one wat... wah lau eh.. its like i'm doing all these for nth? is tt wat she's hinting abt?

i still feel unappreciated. i do so many stuff for her.. and when i tell her.. she justs say.. " well.. u can dun do it wat.." i told her that i give in everything she wants.. does things her way.. and this time i'm just asking for smth done this way.. all she can say is " well.. u can dun give in to me one wat..." bah... i told her to change her attitude towards me.. treat me better.. but all she kips saying is..." tt's me wat.. i cannot change one lor..." tt's crap lor i think... my personality is that i am impatient and i dun give in and i blow up easily.. but i'm changing.. u can go ask my sec sch classmates tt i blow up easily.. or my ncc mates.. they all noe.. but now.. i'm different? i become more patient and treat ppl better.. show care and concern.. a person can change.. why can't she? and the worst is.. " well.. then u change lar... change to e man i wan..." isn't tt hurting? she's changing me to e man she wans me to be... not for who i am.. and she tells me she can't change.. yet she expects me to change...

I feel that a distance has grown between us.. we have become more distant away from each other.. after that argument which nearly led to a break up.. i feel a break up is always imminent as i realise i am getting tired of not being myself when i'm with her.. i am really tired.. and i hate being distant with her.. as we are supposed to be close?

i feel tt she won't be here beside me when i need her to be when i'm going thru my darkest times.. but i will be there for her when she needs me... in other words.. i find that she takes me for granted.. she really does...

and everyone else will tell me not to worry as things will work out fine.. but in the previous 2 relationships.. when i start questioning.. its not a good sign.. haiz..

but i really do love her. i do.

posted by gary @ 11:16 PM

just went to cut hair.. spent ard 18 bucks on my hair.. seems to have no diff.. hmm... anyway.. my studying is almost done.. yay!!

posted by gary @ 5:17 PM

think i'm gonna fail my geog.. haven studied anything on it yet.. hmm.. think i will do last min work for geog... vs boys are well known for their last min work.. haha... anyway.. sat i going to watch charlie angels.. woo...

posted by gary @ 6:22 PM

i've become your afterthought,
like some trinket you bought
and forgot inside a drawer.
you don't think about me anymore.
you expect me just to acquiesce,
silently settle for so much less,
than i know i deserve.
oh, you have such nerve!

i'm always last on your list,
it's been three days now since we've kissed.
maybe it's time that i moved on...
(every dark day has it's dawn.)
the morning light will ease my sorrows,
my life can full of bright tomorrows.
you'll see that i will start anew,
with just an afterthought of you.

posted by gary @ 11:00 PM

everythings ok le.. its cleared up...

posted by gary @ 7:08 PM

Go ahead, look at me
try to talk to me.

See, what you have lost, forever.
Feel the pain, you made me feel.
Try to make all the wounds heal.
You will never feel the same again.

Instead, you’ll only wish
and wonder and even hope,
that things could be different.
Don’t waste your time,
nothing can be done

And know, you’ll never get over the pain
and know, it is all your fault.
You will have to live with what you have done.
There is nothing I can do now,
I have grown and changed.

Of course, I still love you,
I always will, but the difference is....
No, the problem is you waited to long.

I've learned to deal with the pain.
And forgive you for
all the tears you made me shed.

I know you're hurting, and I’m sorry.
I know I can’t feel the tears
that are rolling down your face,
and I can’t wipe them away.


I know your soul aches...
because mine did, too.
I know life goes on...
because mine finally did.
And I know I'm not your first love
and that, even if life goes on,
there will always be a void
and a piece of you missing.

And I know this, because I felt it, too
and will continue to feel it, forever.

Does it get easier?
Not really, it just becomes normal.
The pain will become a part of your life.

And when things are going well
and you have finally learned to love another,
you’ll occasionally remember me.
When you close your eyes,
you’ll see me staring at you.
And when you fall asleep,
my face will be an occurring dream.

When you see me, you’ll feel weak.
When we stare into each other’s eyes,
we’ll remember.
And with every touch,
you’ll lose a piece of you to me.
And when I walk away,
I’ll give you my soul.

Because forever, I’ll own your heart
and I only know this because...
forever, you’ll own mine.

* for all next time who breaks up.. dun worry.. me and angela are still together.. but this is jus written...

posted by gary @ 5:23 PM

Outside, the storm is playing.
Lightning runs through the sky
distant thunder calling
more clouds joining... shy.

On the wings of the wind;
leaves are riding;
trees bending, hiding.
The stranger is sleeping...
unaware of the turmoil outside.

Eyes closed;
shallow breathing;
heart barely beating.
Silence abides...

Is this love dying...
or is it just me?
Without you, there is no... "we."
Outside, nature softly starts... weeping.

posted by gary @ 5:18 PM

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[CHORUS:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

[Chorus]

posted by gary @ 5:05 PM

i wrote this poem... for all to enjoy...

It is the end of the day
I sit and watch the sun fade away
All I hear is the sound
Of rain falling on the ground
I want to hear you say
That you love me more every day
But all I hear is the rain

A cloud has settled in my heart
Now that we're torn apart
I'm getting drenched in the rain
I'm getting drowned in the pain
I miss you more every day
All I hear now is the rain

I walk down the lonely street
My clothes dripping with rain
The loss of you is to much to bear
I'm use to you always being there
I sit and look around
All I see is darkening clouds
All I know now is pain
All I hear now is the rain

Now that you're gone away
I'm left to deal with the pain
Sitting here in the field where we talked
Sitting here where we loved
And I don't hear you anymore,
I dont hear any thing
All I hear now is the rain

posted by gary @ 9:56 PM

hmm.. nth to blog today.

posted by gary @ 9:55 PM

went to school to study with shu today... met rach on the way.. so "studied" in sch... we ended tokin abt scandals lor...
we tok and tok and tok and tok and tok and tok and tok and tok until...... FAT ZAIHAN came...
he looked at me and said... "u think holiday chalet ah?" he told shu " where's ur shoes?" and shu told him he sprained his ankle.. watever.. he chased us out of sch lorx.. if i cud.. i wud take a needle and poke his stomach.. let all e oil flow out.. cb...

went to serangoon gardens and eat and then we went to e airport.. went to T2... went to viewing gallery and we watched aeroplanes taking off.. 3 17 yr olds never failed to be amazed by planes taking off.. i think no one would...

anyway.. we saw a TEACHER DATING in the airport... its my geog teacher... MISS WENDY LIM! omg.. so scandalous! haha... anyway.. we going to study tomolo again... going to study..



LOVE is your chinese symbol!


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United States Of America -
The most well-renouned country in modern day times.
The militaristic superpower, the United States
of America are also known as the bossiest
nation.


Positives:

Known Worldwide.

A Beacon to Others.

Powerful.

Fast Food.



Negatives:

Bossy.

Despised by Most Others.

Elitest.



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posted by gary @ 8:42 PM

seriously... i think amy ish really havin problems.. i dunno whether its bcos of chris or not. hmm.. but a big portion of it shud be him larx...

goin to study with christorph and shu tomolo... hope it will turn out productive.

angela doesn't reply my smses... watever

i've been drinking these few days.. now too... can't drink like that.. its bad for my health.

i miss her. angela.
army.. lets go to sentosa.. when?

posted by gary @ 6:43 PM

sorry to anyone hu dun lik me to drink.. i'm drinking again... again...
i'm jus a lil tipsy though.. not drunk yet... not yet...

i feel funny... many thoughts have been running thru my mind...
i suddenly have nth to tell angela.. and i think she ain't toking to me too..
maybe i'm oversensitive...

we just went past e one month mark.. so i'm a lil apprehensive ya... tell me if i'm wrong...
y do i feel this way? i feel there's smth wrong man.. seriously smth wrong in our relationship...
mayb its bcos of our exams... that's y this happens.. i hope so..

angeline asked me smth yesterday that really struck me..
she asked.." do u find sometimes that u have a girlfriend but u dun feel like u have one?"
that really struck me.. i jus nodded my head.. an went to la-la land...

i dunno.. i'm lost. i'm confused.

posted by gary @ 6:41 PM

burnt.
again
tired.
of everything
jus wanna see
a smile of yours
but
its so damn diffcult
growing weary
of u
nevertheless
i still love u.


whoever u are
watever u do
whenever u wan
i'll be there for u
always.


anyway.. i'm burnt again... dunno why...
went to ubin and had to ride tandem bike...
angeline din noe how to cycle.
got so many damn upslopes and in the end, me and kai kian were takin turns to bring te bike upslope...
its very nice there... but now too many ppl goes there.. becomes quite polluted...
anyway... i miss angela.. i do...
i miss my classmates.. but not as much...
i miss everyone.


Chicken Noodle


**What kind of SOUP Are you**
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you are the "you suck, and that's sad"
happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit
brutal.


which happy bunny are you?
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posted by gary @ 6:05 PM

sun burn. from today trip to jalan bathera
shuming speaks chinese fr the whole day during odac
going to ubin tomolo. have to wake up at 515.
life is so boring.
watever

posted by gary @ 9:25 PM

watever. angela lucky or not still dunno lar horx.. cooking is easy.. in my opinion.. but having to think of wat to cook can be a headache... haix.. everyday.. have to think of wat to cook.. sian... u ppl help me lar.. haha... candy.. jealous is it? no one cook for u... too chio le lar... chio till no one dare to cook for u.. :P.. j/k lar... relax...

FEL! haha... since u my da jie... i will cook for u also.. dun say dun have...

anyway... today went out to buy groceries... jus came back.. bought some socks too... hmm... spent close to a hundred dollars... muz start saving....

got to go cut hair again.. its not very nice again.. shud i go spend 20 dollars on my hair again? hmm.. *thinking*

can all peepz who read my blog pls leave smth at the tagboard? i wan to noe who is reading.. so i can see wat stuff to write... email too.. thanks...

posted by gary @ 12:48 PM

Sometimes the hols can be killing and i mean it literally killing... i woke up at 630 today to prepare breakfast for my dad.. after that.. went back to slp and woke up at 0845 to prepare braeakfast for my mum, sis and myself... well.. they had egg, toast, ham and coffee/tea/orange juice. a simple breakfast larx...

after that.. i ate, sat down to read the newspaper and rest. its already 0845. i start to study for my mid-yrs a bit before i start to think wat to preprare for lunch. i decided on otak and cod fish since its only 2 ppl eating... me and my mum and a lil toddler of 3 who my mum is baby sitting... he's very notti... so i continued studying till 1000. i started to wash the fish and warm the otak my mum bought back in msia when we went on the 7/6. lunch was served at 1130. a lil too early? its the norm time for my family...

so my mu went to tuck the baby into bed... i went to wash the dishes and mop the whole house... this took me a while.. finished everything at 1245. went to take a shower to wash up...

napped for one hour... now online telling u my adventures of the day.. still dunno wat to cook for dinner.. sian...

anyway... jus a lil something... this is not first time i'm doing this.. been doin this since sec 2. been doin all e cooking... think i wanna be a chef next time... or a house husband... i think i will amke good one.. been cooking since pri sch... pri 4 i think... so its....7 yrs of training.. and i'm still learning dishes from my mum and dad.. phwoar.. my dad is a good cook.. i learn how to make desserts too.. like honeydew sago... that's my fav. haha....

househusband? hmm.. that seems a good choice... well.. dunno lar... but a lot of gals are always amazed when they hear abt me doin all these... well.. i can understand cos my older sis can't do anything that has to do with house keeping. i help her pack her table neatly, throw away her used tissues... haiz...

wat a day...

Is the glass half full or half empty?

Which [Movie Genres] are you?

posted by gary @ 2:46 PM

anyway.. din noe so many ppl read my blog.. haha.. looks like cannot write too much abt angela.. oops..

went to play soccer in e field jus now with boots... need to run more to slim down...

odac is stressing me out.. too much to do...

the hols are too short.. watever lar... stupid sars..

i haven been a good boy.. been drinking too much alcohol for e past 2 days.. i shud stop getting drunk...

posted by gary @ 7:33 PM

You're a hidden leader: Even though you're not paid
much attention to, or don't get the respect and
recognition you deserve, deep down you know
that if you had just ONE chance, you would make
an excellent leader!


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You are romantic! If you're not sure what you were,
then congratulations for being romantic!


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posted by gary @ 7:23 PM

well.. first must clarify things.. dun worry janice.. it jus ain't u lar..its actually a guy.. but bcos of sensitivity of the issue.. i have to kip things a lil crooked... dun worry! but if u cud spare a lil space for me.. it would be good huh.. hehe.. so i can stretch my legs.. hehe.. thanks ah..

jus finish readng a few blogs... candy, eugenia, komui and my click pple lar.. their blogs r really interesting lehx.. haha... read komui's.. damn funny.. very cyniacl view of life...

anyway.. heard a scandal abt shuming from lisany... its some french gal.. and shuming.. can u pls gimme the add to lisany's webby? she says u noe...

tomolo... angela will be goin g for camp... for 4 days.. sian.....
i'll miss her

i'm 3/4 drunk from all e alcohol at my grandma's hse... i think i shudn;t drink so much...

anyway. loveya all peepz reading this..

posted by gary @ 12:58 AM

Your Heart is Orange


What Color is Your Heart?
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posted by gary @ 11:04 PM

posted by gary @ 12:44 PM